This is My page. These are the pages which I am solely responsible for. From time to time I extract from those who know better than I, what The Holocaust truly means. For me, that is the Survivor, or just as importantly, those Jews wholly consumed within the Catastrophe for the 6,000,000 Jews of Europe. Other than that, I have given my all, without consideration to myself while not realising I have given more than I thought.
I have accepted the abuse, rolled with the accusations and sought to ignore the serious threats made against me because this work is far more important. All is truly worth its risk, given what 6,000,000 Jewish People and their dismissal from life no longer enables them to enjoy. But! And when we arrive at a point where I am being called an antisemite, and a defender of nazis’s, and by Jews here, I am so worn down by this, I am shocked, hurt and very much deflated.
This really is Not me though. I cannot be worn down by others whose own opinion, knowledge or even awareness differs from my own. For me, it is essential that you all know why I am here, and these are the 6,000,000 very distinct Jewish reasons I explore and research. As I attempt to bring out of the past and into our future any of those still unnamed though I am mindful of, that there are perhaps 4,500,000 Jews who are names and who are known.
One of these Murdered, and known of course, is a 4 year old Jewish Girl, Tovah ‘Tokele’ Olshak, Murdered in Sokoly by local antisemites. Tokele, for whom I have once sought an emotional detachment, that will not materialise, and this is due in no small part to the sheer empathy and attachment I have for her. For that very reason I have always sought out from so many questions, and from those Survivor’s who I would ask to reach back and, if given any opportunity, retrieve but one from the past to stand before us.
Simple enough for me as this would be Tokele every time. But when I ask of any Jew to consider this, I am very troubled. While I accept that the Survivor would bring back one of their own back, there are some who would balk at the very fact of a Jew managing to save any one of their own. There is enough hatred in this World for the Jewish People without any Jew seeking to differ in disagreement with another Jew over any issue.
For me, I have thrown my own sense of grief, through loss, into this to approach for an empathy with such a collosal loss which no one can ever understand what this, The Holocaust grief must surely mean. From my introduction to Tokele’s story, I was reached by a Survivor who actually knew her and a more immediate connenction was made for me with the past I have been searching for. Imagine then as I reached Treblinka and without prior awareness, a stone stood in front of me with Sokoly, the Town where Tokele had been Murdered, was written on in Remembrance.
Some might see in this a fate that somehow set me toward meeting with Tokele’s past in order to deliver much of the accusation that is 6,000,000 Murdered Jews strong. As I look, as I search and as I take in the fuller catastrophe that confronts every Jew to this day, I reflect heavily upon its effect on my person. Seriously, I measure myself in such terms as would defie anyone not to sink, but I am neither depressed nor a depressive.
When I was diagnosed with Cancer, it was quite simple and that it was a Surgeon’s skill, and not really a problem for him to cut it out, and he did. I knew me! But work impacts on how such things are perceived and while I got through recovery, knowing depression was Never a part of my make up, other’s wondered if I had simply submerged it with other’s scale of grief?
Then, when I entered a study as to why I then contracted Diabetes, there was no way they were going to convince me that depression had gotten to me. I guess though, immersed in the struggle to search for so many answers, has clearly marked me in ways I had never imagined. So today. I cannot work in any professional capacity as reading, and even writing, is proving problematic in an attention span of demands.
Here I am then, in a race against time to get everything I want to do and achieve and I cannot envisage yet another struggle responding to accusations from those who truly should know my only, sincere and focused intention is with 6,000,000 stilled Jewish voices calling out from a past still wishing to leave them behind. Originally, I know I had 6 Books to be written which could represent 6,000,000 Slaughtered if each one of those Books represented 1,000,000 sales each. Oh the flush of youth.
I realise now that not even 6,000 Books could reach that particualr milestone of a simple Book representing the life of every single Jew now lost to humanity. But here and now I am presented with an ultimatum, and I am not prepared to desist nor give in to what remains still visible to me, the words yet to emanate for 6,000,000 still expecting. I merely have tired eyes and my mind is more than filled with all the Books I need to complete, and in as quick a time as I can.
There remains 6,000,000 Jews who expect nothing less from my promise to commit to their memory than I will deliver. So I need your help. This will be my work, both professionally and intentionally from here on in. It is hoped that you can remind anyone with an interest, that as I write I will need to continually sell all my work to get closer to where I always hoped to be.
What would represent the memory and accusation I have spent more than 25 years delivering needs to come sooner rather than later. I will never tire, never concede and never give up on what 6,000,000 Murdered Jews call on me to present. What I hope also is, in being able to respond to serious questions without having to defend why I have given Everything to help you learn what I am learning, you appreciate I am merely acting as a conduit for what I would imagine 6,000,000 voices might say.
The Truth of what happened to 6,000,000 Jews of Europe, why the World allowed this all to happen, and how we need to come to terms with the incomprehensible, spurs me on. I need to explore the certain hatred that is measured out against some Jews within the Catastrophe for what was out of their full remit to alter. We can all see too many demons when the first and original demon was a man hell bent on supplying History with a term such as The Holocaust. A term we must recognise was originally classified as The Final Solution of the Jewish Question, die Endlosung der Judenfrage, an annihilation process for the Jewish People.